Saturday, February 9, 2019

The Good Neighbor: The Life and Work of Fred Rogers


I think for every one of us, there's at least one thing. One thing that brings a wave of nostalgia so powerful and consuming, it cracks your heart wide open. There are quite a few of those things that do that for me - one of the most powerful is the life and work of Mr. Rogers.

I'm a child of the 80's. I spent my earliest years with very few channels on the TV. PBS, of course, was one - and, Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street were an integral part of my early childhood. For me - and, for so many people around my age and a little older/younger - this man and his show were part of our every day. I can close my eyes and remember so vividly his trip to the Crayon factory, the tinkly music of the trolley and the familiar door knock of Mr. McFeely with a special delivery. I still say I'm "Mr. Rogers-ing my shoes" every time I change from one pair of shoes to another. This man and his work are woven into the fabric of my DNA and I worried that reading this book would turn me into a puddle of tears. 

It did. But, it was worth it.


(tears.)

This book is a complete biography of the man we thought we knew. Or maybe we never really needed to know him as kids, we just needed to trust him. Either way, it begins with a privileged childhood in an upscale Pittsburgh suburb. Fred Rogers' parents were incredibly wealthy, his mother doted on him, as he was the only child for many years. But, he was lonely, too - and, often sick. Elementary school bullies once chased him home, calling him "Fat Freddy." Fred was loved, but not often encouraged to share his feelings. That was a memory that drove him later to teach children that their feelings are to be talked about and embraced.

You learn so much in this book about his college years, his time in the seminary, his work as an accomplished musician and what kind of dad he was to his two sons at home. You learn, too, about early television and how slapstick was the normal fare for kids. Rogers insisted that this powerful new tool could be used for good - for the education of children in their formative years. And, throughout decades of change in that medium, he held fast to his principles: that he wouldn't allow advertising, that he wouldn't allow the marketing of merchandise from the show and that he would always think about how children would receive the messages they saw on screen. It's remarkable that he never caved to the pressures of the times. He was loyal and respectful to the children he was proud to serve, almost to a fault.


You learn quirks of Mr. Rogers in this book an fascinating details about the man himself. He weighed 143 pounds every day of his adult life. He and his wife once caught their sons growing pot in the family basement. He never learned to put in/take out his contacts, so when he wore them for the show, someone had to do that for him. That he used the voices of his puppets in adult conversations when he was trying to express a different side of his personality (King Friday often disciplined the children at the dinner table.) You also learn that, to a person, people say Fred Rogers was exactly the man he portrayed on TV. Forget the rumors that he was a Navy SEAL (that was really a thing??) He was a kind, gentle, driven soul who dedicated his life to helping children. 

He was vulnerable, too. In his last days, Rogers worried he hadn't done enough to be accepted into the kingdom of heaven. Imagine that. Mr. Rogers wondered if he was worthy.

Towards the end of the book, a friend described Rogers as being quiet and reserved, but also the most powerful person he'd ever met. Powerful in his resolve not to waiver from his original mission. 

Millions of grown-up kids like me are better for it.

Mr. Rogers is super hot right now, as the kids would say (they wouldn't - but Mr. Mugatu from Zoolander would.) In addition to this book, there's a movie coming out with Tom Hanks in the title roll. There's also a fascinating documentary that touches on a lot of what is explored more deeply in this book. I hesitated to watch that doc in the theater, as I didn't want my sobbing and sniffling to interrupt the other patrons. Instead, I stupidly watched it on a recent flight. I was left with tears streaming down my face right there in 22E. 

There's a moment referenced in the book that broke me in the documentary. His friends recall a moment in a commencement speech where Mr. Rogers asks the audience to take one minute and think about a person who has helped them in their life. The documentary cameras flash to multiple people, welling up with tears as they think of that person. I'm welling up again thinking about it now. 

You have to imagine that, for so many, its Rogers' own face that comes to mind.


No comments:

Post a Comment