Parkland

I was holding my breath.

I was legitimately concerned about reading Parkland on vacation; a book about a mass shooting and the aftermath isn't exactly a "beach read". I knew, however, that I didn't want to wait to read Dave Cullen's book about the kids who formed the March For Our Lives movement in the wake of the shooting at their high school. His book Columbine shook me to my core (you can read my review here). I knew if he had his hands on this, it would be powerful and important. I wasn't wrong. But, while this book was similar in origin to Columbine, it wasn't the same by any stretch. This book, as Cullen says, is about hope.

Columbine was about what led up to that shooting all those years ago. It was about the signs missed before and the false narrative that formed after. I was bracing myself throughout that entire read, everything was leading up to that fateful day. Columbine was, in large part, about the shooters.

Parkland, however, starts after the shooting - and never once calls the shooter by his name. We don't get into his background, we don't talk about warning signs or missed opportunities to stop him before he commits this horrific act of violence. This is a book about the students who refused to accept our "thoughts and prayers." It's about the confluence of events that led to a political movement. You may have seen these kids on TV, seen them attacked on Twitter, but you probably did not know a thing about what was happening behind the scenes. They were called puppets of the Democrats. People said they were being used as political pawns. So many people refused to believe that kids could be this savvy, this smart, this driven for change. Dave Cullen was there to see the machine at work and his book shows what these kids did on their own to try and make sure what happened at their high school would not happen again.

I will never forget what I was doing when I heard Emma Gonzalez give that speech. I was driving and I was crying so hard, I had to pull over. This was rage. This was anger. This was a young girl whose life was just upended, being brave enough to call B.S. on the whole damn thing. Imagine being 17 and having that much courage. Imagine.

For most of us, all we saw were the soundbites on the news. We didn't know the half of it. We didn't know these were kids still trying to be kids while, at the same time, becoming poster children and political lightning rods. We didn't know how they forbid adults from coming to their meetings. We didn't know that they brought in kids from Chicago who were dealing with gun violence in their own communities because, really, their cause was the same. We didn't know that many of them sacrificed grades and extra-curricular activities because this moment in the political spotlight would not come again. They saw victory in the mid-term elections that followed the shooting. For the first time ever, gun safety groups outspent the NRA. But, they tasted defeat, too. And, many - all? - are still dealing with grief and trauma.

This booked moved me to tears. For the dead, of course.  But, also to see all these kids fought for, knowing that real change could be decades away. This generation grew up after Columbine. Lockdown drills have been part of their life since kindergarten. They're tired of hiding in closets - and, of waiting for adults to fix this. They inspired me before. They moved me now.