Thursday, August 22, 2019

There's No Crying in Newsrooms


Let me start off by saying the title of this book is a misnomer of sorts. I've worked in TV newsrooms for more than 20 years. There's a LOT of crying. We cry out of frustration, we cry out of anger, we cry when we've worked a 16-hour day and we can't open the lid on our juice (that literally happened to me in early July on the day we launched our new set!) We cry, too, because some stories are really, really hard to cover. I once stood on the side of the road and looked at body bags covering five children who were killed in a car accident. I've cried on my way to stories and on my way home - and, I've cried years later thinking of lives lost or powerfully touching moments.

This job - this field - brings with it a lot of tears.

But, generally speaking - as women - we're told not to cry at work. And, the women in this book have heard their share of instructions like that. Instructions about how to behave less like women in order to advance.

You don't have to be a journalist to get something from this book. But, as a woman who works in a newsroom - and, tries to lead one - this book was like manna from heaven. I should carry it around and have certain passages ready to go.

The women who wrote this book have been news leaders. They also interviewed many other women who either work in the field now or who helped pave the way for those of us who do. They tell stories of breaking barriers to be the first women in their positions and also about the no-in trade-off of being a news manager AND a mom. What ends up on the page is a mix of inspiration, advice, commonality and solace.

If you're a woman still working in the trenches, you'll be grateful for those who went before us. You'll be grateful for women like badass NPR reporter Nina Totenberg who once sat at a dinner in the Clinton White House next to a public official who reached over and put his hand on her leg. Her response: "What was I going to do? So I held his hand for the whole dinner. I ate with one hand. My theory was the hand couldn't move if I held it."

Thank you, Me Too movement, for moving us ever-so-slightly beyond that.

I marked passages in this book as I read, and earmarked pages. Then, I realized I wanted to earmark the whole damn thing. To remind myself why I'm often perceived the way that I am; that men are allowed to be tough, demanding, confident, etc. and that women are supposed to be soft and sweet. I'm grateful for the women who have said "Hell no." And, blazed a trail in high heels for the rest of us.

I'm grateful, too, for stories of how having women leaders changed the way news stories were covered. Newsrooms with women leaders brought forth more thoughtful coverage about community issues and brought a much-needed different perspective to the news of the day. It reaffirmed the way I'm trying to lead my newsroom and the coverage I'd like to see that I don't see enough of overall.

I loved, too, the stories of working news moms trying to balance the demands of life and home. I'm so grateful to know that I'm not the only one. And that it's OKAY to say "I love my job and I love my career and I wouldn't be as fulfilled if I was a stay-at-home mom." I just had a conversation with a friend who is also a news boss and feels that familiar twinge of guilt because she loves walking out the door to go to work in the morning.

I have gushed enough, right? You get it. This book was exactly what I need at this point in my career. Every woman who manages, has managed or wants to manage a newsroom should read it.

And, we should all strap on the heels and get to work to write the next chapter.


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