Three Women

This one. This is going to be hard to describe. But, I just shared with the woman who recommended it to me that this book was "so fascinating and so uncomfortable and I couldn't stop reading it."

I should probably explain.

First, a shout out to the woman who told me I should read this book. Kristi is crazy smart, well-read and wonderful. Her dad is one of three on one of the most popular radio shows in Spokane and I'm lucky enough to have met Kristi through him. She asked if I wanted to borrow it, then dropped it off at my house. But, she didn't just leave it on the porch in a plastic bag, which is what I would have done. She put it in a cute bag, added a card and included a candle - because she said she thought I would appreciate reading a book with a new candle burning. Isn't that wonderful? It really has nothing to do with the book, but I just wanted to say we should all be a little more like Kristi.

Anyway.

This book is billed as a revolutionary, groundbreaking, unflinching look at the concept of female desire. Over centuries, female desire has been misunderstood and dismissive. The author of Three Women actually set out to write a book about male desire, only to discover it was female desire that deserved more thoughtful exploration.

So, she dove in.

Taddeo followed the stories of three women in various parts of the country with complicated levels of desire. One woman is in a sexless marriage in which her husband won't even kiss her on the mouth. She aches to be desired and thinks she's found it in an old high school boyfriend. Another is a young woman who, as a teenager, had a sexual relationship with her high school teacher. The last is a beautiful, chic, successful woman whose husband likes to bring others into their relationship and likes to watch her have sex with other men. The book ping pongs between their stories and you feel yourself rise and fall as their emotions become intertwined with the desire they chase.

Guys, it's a lot. At first, it felt like you were reading someone else's diary. As the book continues, though, you feel like you're reading things most people wouldn't write down, let alone be able to admit about themselves. It's cringe-worthy, heartbreaking, fascinating... But, it can be really frustrating, too, and really hard to read.

Even Oprah said this book was groundbreaking feminism. I found what I learned disappointing. Not that the book was disappointing - not at all. But, what I took away was that women followed their sexual desire, couldn't detach from the emotional connections and found themselves in ashes while the men with the same desires simply walked away. The teacher, in fact, was named North Dakota Teacher of the Year. I found that - the reality of how female desire is portrayed and received - incredibly disheartening.

I may take away something completely different than you would. I feel like this book, more than most, is colored by a thick layer of your own personal experience. I also think there's a hell of a lot more that needs to be de-stigmatized about the way women satisfy their sexual desires.