5. 10% Happier

In the words of modern poet (and, all-around handsome fella) Usher... "These are my confessions..." 

I'm going to take you inside my brain for a sec and, while you won't find any useful things like math or any sort of internal compass, you will find this: lyrics to 80's TV sitcom themes, a memory of every mean thing a boy ever said to me and an internal voice that NEVER. SHUTS. UP.

Before I review this book, a little more about why I needed to read it. I covered this in another post, but it's worth revisiting now that I have a little better understanding of my totally out-of-whack brain.

Aforementioned brain does not turn off. When I'm doing one thing, I'm always thinking about another. I liken it to mosquitoes, swarming around in my skull. I find myself so anxious at times to move onto the next thing, the next thought, that I actually feel a rising in my chest. I carry all my tension in my shoulders and have to force myself to take deep exhales at least a couple of times a day, Even as I read this book about trying to tame the voice in my head, I was looking ahead, trying to picture myself putting these practices into action and stressing about all the reasons why it won't work. Honestly, the only time I really focus on a single thought is when I'm rowing - because, as soon as I focus on something else, I catch an oar to the ribcage or risk ending up in the cold water of the Spokane River.

So, I needed this book. And, I was also entirely skeptical. 

Some background: Dan Harris is a reporter and anchor at ABC News. He's likable, smart and seems totally at ease on the air. He also had a panic attack once on live TV on Good Morning America, which led him down a path that culminates with the writing of this book. Harris talks of how much the voice in his head has controlled his happiness. He talks of the deep insecurity TV journalists often face, as we put ourselves out to the world, often to get back nothing but snarky comments about how our hair looks on a particular day. He realizes, after this panic attack, that he needs to get control of the voice. And, like any good journalist, he dives deep into the research to find out what will work,

His quest leads him to meditation. Not "sitting in a robe and Birkenstocks" meditation, but science-based, reasonable meditation. He seeks out advisers, goes on retreats and struggles to fit the practice into his demanding, busy life. He largely succeeds, but doesn't pretend to find some plane of enlightenment and the inherent smugness that comes with it. His conclusion is not that it makes all the problems of his life go away, but that it makes him 10% happier. Who couldn't use 10% more happiness in their life? 

Overall, Harris makes it sound hard - but, attainable. So, the question is; can I make it work? 

The answer: I have no freaking idea. 

I'd like to make it work. Even if I don't do it "right" it can't hurt to force myself to sit down, phone off, quietly for at least a few minutes every day. In the time since I've read this book, I've found tons of apps and even a website based on the book that can help me get started. If you've done it and you have tips or ideas, PLEASE send them my way. I could use all the help I can get.