My Dark Vanessa

Dark is the operative word here.

This book is dark. 

A co-worker suggested I read this and I trust her opinion on books so implicitly, I didn't even question it. She wanted me to read it because there's so much about to discuss. Then, I read it and this whole coronavirus situation happened and she has been working remotely and now I have no one with whom to discuss it. Except for you guys! Thanks!

It's a book about a high school student who begins a sexual relationship with her teacher. I hate even saying it like that. It's her teacher, grooming and sexually abusing her. The story shifts back and forth from that time in her life to her time years later as an adult as we see the way the abusive relationship has affected them both (spoiler alert: her life is destroyed. His - at least initially - is not.)

Some have described this book as a modern retelling of Lolita, a book the teacher gives to Vanessa, among others. I've read some reviews that describe their relationship as complicated, as she "initiates" and "encourages" much of the contact and the continued relationship. I fall so far on the other side of this. I think this was sexual abuse, plain and simple.

There's a quote here that encompasses his blaming her, which is among the more troubling subplots of this book. "The world has a vested interest in keeping you helpless," he told her. The interest was all his, however. Her being helpless kept her dependent on him, long after the two were physically separated.

It's a tale that rings true across true and fictionalized versions of affairs and sexual abuse. I saw it in the true stories depicted in Three Women, a book I reviewed last year. The men seem to walk away from these situations unscathed. The woman take all the blame and all the aftermath.

It is a fascinating read from a young girl's perspective and a story we hear about all too often. It's dark nature makes it hard to call the book "good" but, it's well-written and a fast read, as you just find yourself praying she will eventually find a way out.